For the Narcissist Lover in You…

Archive for December, 2013

News From a Parallel Universe…

takeiHannityInterviewDuring an interview with Fox news this past Sunday, popular social media humorist, actor, and LGBT icon George Takei expressed his views on straight conservative Christians, leading to nationwide outrage from religious groups and the indefinite suspension of Takei’s popular Facebook media feed.

“I just don’t get straight sex,” Takei replied when probed on the topic by interviewer Sean Hannity.  “I mean, these straight fundamentalists, they’re really cheating themselves and the rest of the world, because let’s face it, some of them are pretty sweet dishes.  Am I right?  You know I’m right.”

Later in the interview, rather than backing away or apologizing for his remarks, Takei expanded on his view.  “Everyone owes it to themselves to try everything on the buffet before committing to just one dish.  It’s a crime against society not to.  One might even call it a social sin.  But whatever floats their boat.  I’m not here to judge.  I love everybody, be they straight, uptight, or even Republican racist anti-woman terrorists intent on destroying civilization.”

The interview was repeated non-stop on Fox news for nearly fifty hours, foregoing commercial breaks, but including occasional audio commentary by indignant Christian and Republican figures, all of whom expressing shock that a prominent and beloved LGBT humorist would have a humorously progressive view of the LGBT lifestyle.

Popular Christian actor Kirk Cameron loudly decried the comments as “Christianophobic hetero hate-speech”.

Responding to the public outrage exclusively from right-wing Christian activists, Facebook moved quickly to indefinitely suspend Takei’s public feed.  The official company press release explained: “As a corporation, we are committed to silencing even the most amusing and tolerant of voices that express anything other than admiration and total support for Christian straight Republican sex.  In this spirit of free expression, Mr. Takei’s public voice has been removed from our social network.”

To protest this perceived violation of free speech, millions of internet denizens clicked on and reposted images of cats in Star Trek uniforms bearing the slogan “DON’T TAKEI MY RIGHTS AWAY!”

Still, fundamentalist hetero-sex advocates applauded Facebook’s decision.  Known straight Republican Tod Starnes of Fox News said, “It’s high time we stopped letting these people get away with expressing their tolerant, loving, mild objection to straight Christian sex!  Takei is a monster, and probably a racist, too.  That comment about gay buffets is clearly gay liberal code for white southern cooking.  I don’t know about him, but my buttermilk biscuits are straight as a ruler and twice as hardlined!”

As of this writing, Mr. Takei’s only response was his final Facebook post, shown below:
georgeTakei

(note: if it’s not obvious, this is satire written with great affection for George Takei and respect for the rights of everyone to say exactly what they believe without interference by corporate censors.

I think we’d all prefer honest rogues over pretend saints.  Dialogue can’t happen if it’s consistently squashed by some culturally enforced thought police.  When someone says something you disagree with, don’t shout them down.  Thank them for their honesty.  If they are open to debate, debate them.  If they aren’t, ignore them.  We’re all grown-ups, right? Do we really need to be “protected” from dissenting views?  Surely you don’t.  You’re smarter than that.  You’re reading my blog, after all!)